Podcast - Bridget Potterton, The Only Real Estate Divorce Specialist and Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert in CA

Off Market Podcast: Bridget Potterton, The Only Real Estate Divorce Specialist and CDRE in CA

Bridget’s journey to becoming a top 1% realtor and one of the top 1000 realtors nationwide is one of grit and determination. After an internship at a commercial brokerage, she was initially turned off by the world of real estate. That changed after she received a role at a new internet-based discount brokerage, where she fell in love with RE. This role set the stage for her to launch her own practice, focusing on building client relationships amidst the high-priced San Diego market.

Bridget scaled her operations by pursuing a “riches in the niches” strategy. More specifically, she focused on divorces, becoming the only real estate broker in California who has both the Real Estate Divorce Specialist and Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert designations. Sit back, buckle up, and get ready to hear firsthand what happens when someone is bold and brave enough to pursue their personal legend.

Transcript of the Episode

Austin: Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the Off Market podcast. This week we have Bridget Potterton. She’s a top 1% producer in San Diego County, was named one of the top 1000 Realtors in the United States, and is the only real estate broker in California who has both the Real Estate Divorce Specialist and Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert designations. If you’re in southern California and are looking for a speedy transition into the next phase of your life, Bridget is your gal. Bridget, welcome to the podcast.

So Bridget, talk to us a little bit about how you got into real estate. I know that you were a realtor for an internet company. Then you became a broker and another broker. And then ultimately hit your stride with Keller Williams. And you've been there for over a decade. So talk to us about that transition and how you get into real estate.

Bridget: Austin, my, my, I guess you could say a trip into the world of real estate was not on the straight and narrow path in college.

I actually had an internship with a commercial broker, and I didn't know anything about real estate. I definitely didn't know anything about commercial real estate and I didn't understand escrow title companies none of the basics that we deal with on a day-to-day basis. Ultimately, I was like the marketing intern, assistant, coffee maker, you know, that kind of thing.

And I was very turned off by the way that the business was being handled, uh, by this particular person that I was interning for. And I sort of thought, gosh, I would never get into real estate because apparently it's a really shady business. And uh, so I was very turned off by it and it wasn't until a couple of years later after I graduated.

One of my clients was a discount brokerage called Help You Sell. I was working for an advertising agency creating their ads and then one of the brokers said, Hey, I'm opening up a new location in San Diego. I want, I want you to help me start the business. And I thought, well, I don't really want to get into real estate, but I would love to learn how to start a business because I've always wanted to have my own.

And so I did. And I became the office manager and then I learned how to do the transaction coordinating. One of the cool things about working for a discount broker is that I got to do a lot of transactions. I mean, it's very much, you know, a transactional-focused business, but I didn't learn how to get, go out and get the business and how to build the relationships.

So that's essentially what, uh, after I left there and, and eventually started my own company, that's what I had to figure out is how do I build relationships? I got into this business when I was 23. None of my friends had homes. None of them had any money to buy a home because San Diego is very expensive.

And, uh, I had no connections. My, I wasn't from here. I didn't have family here. Uh, and it was a real struggle. It was, um, you know, looking back sometimes, I think, man, If I had known how hard it was going to be, would I have still done it?

Austin: I think the latest NAR data said 50 percent of all realtors last year didn't sell a single property. And I got to imagine a lot of those were first-time realtors who got in during the boom of 2021, 2022. And saw all these homes selling and they're like, Oh yeah, I can make it. Everybody else is making it so easy.

Why don't I do it? And then you see 2023 market flips, not so easy anymore. And we'll see what happens with 2024 here in the next six or so months.

Bridget: Well, and you bring up a really good point, Austin, because there's a lot of changes that are happening in our industry right now, and that probably will be happening in the next, you know, three to six months.

And I do agree with you. I think that there are going to be people in our industry who are going to decide, you know, what. I'm done.

Austin: Yep, but the people that push through it and can sell in a down market are going to be the ones that come out of the outside on the other side stronger. And so we'll see how many of those individuals decide to pursue and push through and how many of the people fold.

So a lot of people say that the riches are in the niches. Talk to us about the decision that or the decisions that made you decide to specialize in divorce real estate.

Bridget: So much like my career path into real estate, the path into this space was Not a direct one. I had my very first divorce transaction about 17 years ago.

I was very new in the industry. I had only been in, for a couple of years. I was still trying to figure things out and my clients, I was representing the buyers. They were newlyweds. And they decided that they loved this property and wanted to write an offer on it. So I called the listing agent and the listing agent said “Oh my gosh, Bridget, this is a nasty divorce.”

Wife kicked husband out. He cheated. She literally threw his clothes out the window. And this is all on my conversation of trying to write an offer on this house. And I thought, Oh my gosh, I've never done a divorce escrow before. And it was awful. The whole thing was a nightmare. It was so stressful that towards the end of the transaction, my buyers who were happy newlyweds said, Bridget, if you don't get us this house soon, we're going to get divorced too.

And it was at that point that I vowed, I was never going to work on another divorce escrow again. And clearly, the joke's on me. Um, Fast forward years later, a past client of mine was an attorney and she started referring me clients and her firm started referring me to some clients. And even at that point, I thought, you know what?

I'll, I'll work with you guys. I'll help. but I don't, you know, I'm finally starting to build up a traditional business of happy buyers and sellers. I'm getting invited to baby showers and weddings. I do not want to get invited to the divorce. And, uh, and they're difficult. I mean, they're definitely their own beast.

It's not, you know, I know it falls under the category of traditional real estate, but it's, it's nothing like traditional real estate. I have, I have two different businesses that I run Austin. I still have my traditional. Buyers and sellers that I work with day in and day out. And I adore, and I love that.

And I will never give up that piece of my business, but then I have another piece of business and it, it is treated differently from that very first phone call. It's a completely different transaction. My protocols, my process. Is completely different and it needs to be. And I think that was a struggle that I had when I started working in this space is, you know, these are traditional deals, but they don't really feel like it because my clients hate each other, or at least they don't like each other.

But yet I'm representing them both. So how does that work? Right. And I think that to be completely honest with you, I got lucky for the first, you know, quite a few years that I worked through, I was able to close most of them. And I look back and I cringe because I made some big mistakes, not knowing any better.

I mean, back then there wasn't a lot of great training for realtors on how can you be a neutral third party when you have two clients that are on the same side of the transaction you are representing, but who oppose one another. How, how do you do that? How can you deal with high-conflict personalities?

What happens if you have to, you know, if you have a challenge in the issue and you have to bring in the attorneys, what happens if you have to testify in court? I mean, I, I'm an expert witness. I testify in court sometimes when things get a little dicey and you know, that's not something that is traditional realtors.

We are trained on or we even think about it.

Austin: Yeah, so talk to us a little bit about how it differs. For some of the folks that listen to our podcast, they're not as experienced in the space. Obviously, we have a wide range of listeners that are cash buyers or investors or wholesalers or flippers, but we also have a a slew of realtors who are just starting out in their careers and might be interested in divorce.

What are some of the things that differ in a process that is wrapped around a divorce from a traditional real estate transaction?

Bridget: So the first thing is that as, as traditional realtors, a lot of times our brokers, our office managers, our trainers, our mentors tell us, get the listing contract signed and figure everything else out later, right?

Just get the contract signed and move on. And with divorce listings, it's, it's not that simple.

You need to know what you're walking into. So I have a whole intake that I do, with the parties prior to even meeting with them or even seeing the property. I need to know that they're, uh, whether or not there's a restraining order or a court order that states, you know, selling the house.

Let's say Austin, that you are a local broker here in San Diego as well. And one of the parties contacts you and says,

“Hey Austin, can you sell my house? I'm going through a divorce, but I'm the only one on title.” So you say, sure, you go over, you get the listing contract signed. You've got, you've got the titled spouse, right?

But what happens if there's a court order that states Bridget Potterton, certified divorced real estate expert, is to list the property at 123 Main Street. You have an active listing contract. I've got a court order stating I'm supposed to sell the house, right? So there's a lot of complexities that as realtors, we don't necessarily, we're not always privy to that information.

Our client, we'll call them our clients since you and I are both going to be selling this house, is Either unaware of it or is trying to get out from under because he's, he's the titled spouse. Let's say it's a he. He's the titled spouse and he wants to get that thing closed so he can get that money, right?

Because here in California, we're an escrow and title state and so the titled spouse is the one who figures out where should the disbursement of proceeds go? Who gets the money? Right? And so he fills it out. Yep. Cash quick close. Let's get this done. And you're like none the wiser. Sure. This is great. This is going to be a quick deal.

Right? All the while there is a court order in the background stating, uh, and so, um, so it's really, for me, it's, it's, It's not about being known in the public. I actually don't do a lot of public-facing interviews other than with the real estate community focusing on education.

My complete focus is on the family law community because It hasn't always been common practice for a realtor to be named, say, in a court order or in a stipulation and my job is to educate the family law community of all of these kinds of problems that can happen.

What happens, Austin, if you get the listing and it turns out that there is a restraining order? How are you going to handle that? What if they show up to the open house, right? I mean, what if, you know, what if the person's still living in the area? I mean, you have to have. Protocols in place to handle this kind of stuff as a realtor if you're going to work in the space.

Things that we just don't think about again in in traditional real estate. Also, how are you going to communicate with the parties? I typically do not, I avoid communicating with both parties at all costs. I have separate communication with the parties, even if it's a mediation. A lot of people think, oh, if it's mediation, they're staying out of court, they're communicating, there's no restraining, you can't have,

Restraining order when you do when you attempt to do mediation So, you know that it's on the medium to lower conflict scale But even some of those have been some of my more challenging ones And so I think a lot of realtors ask me that as Bridget, you know I'm trying to get the parties to communicate on the same text chain because I want to be you know a neutral party, but you're just creating an explosion to happen, right?

So what I tell attorneys is You know your client can choose who their realtor is they can choose their previous realtor or their best friend That's a realtor, but the opposing party may not be comfortable with that and that's really common So what I say is, you know, you bring me in when the when the two parties cannot easily agree upon A realtor.

I'm a neutral third party. I don't know either party. I get in and I get it done and I'll follow the orders. And so that's that's sort of how I built that relationship. That's not something that was easily done. It's not something that I would recommend. You know, people just start going into attorney's offices because they can sniff things out pretty quick.

I mean, attorneys are very sharp. You really have to become an expert in this space. You need to understand why we work with court orders, why we work with what these, and what different protocols are. This isn't just something that I think it would be challenging for a new agent, a newer agent to work in this space.

That doesn't mean you can't. I just think it's challenging. You need to be an expert in real estate and then figure out if you're going to work in this space, how do I become a family law expert? Or if you're going to do probate, how do I become a probate? How do I get in that world? Not just a realtor who sells probate or a realtor who sells divorce listings.

How do I get in their world, right? How do I become the go to for attorneys in my area to say, Hey, Bridget, I've got a case. Can we talk through it together? You know, and that happens. And that. Yeah. And that's the seamless transition into. Becoming an expert in a specific niche is not an overnight success.

Austin: So what are some of the things that went into your process of becoming a top agent in San Diego? I imagine it was a very steep learning curve. Uh, and eventually you hit your stride because obviously, you are where you are today. But share a little bit more about what that process actually looked like.

Bridget: Yeah, so I did it wrong for a really long time. So I'll tell you all my mistakes so you don't make them. I feel like I was just fumbling my way through. I have a I'm told I have a good personality where I can get along with people and I think that sort of got me farther with Opposing party's right to be able to work with them and build trust knowing that I'm, I'm going, I'm there to help them even through a difficult transition at the same time.

I couldn't figure out part one is how to really build relationships with attorneys. They're, they're different from traditional clients, past clients, your sphere, your farm, they're different. So number one, how do I do that? I couldn't figure that out. And then number two is how do I build a listing process around this?

Space 'cause it's different. I have to treat it like a separate business. And, uh, so I got a designation about 10 years ago, and it was, it was good. I mean, it kind of helped me with some of the, a few pieces of legal jargon, some background, but it still didn't help me with those two pieces. I still couldn't figure out how to build relationships with attorneys.

And then I, I couldn't figure out. The proper process to help these people through this transition. And so I had heard about this designation that was out of Southern California, but, but not in my area called the certified divorce real estate expert. And I was hesitant because when I took it, it was a six-month program.

They have now switched it where they're now teaching it to realtors in 12 weeks. But I mean, I thought, what am I going to learn for six months? I mean, come on. You know, most, most designations that we as realtors get, they take like three to seven days maybe, uh, or less. And so, uh, I was pretty skeptical and thought, okay, I hope this isn't going to be a time waster.

And I remember going to the very first class, it was virtual because it was COVID, in April of 2020. And I remember that first day. That first day with Laurel, who is the founder of the Illumina Institute, and she was teaching just kind of some basic overviews of the listing process and what we were going to be learning.

And I thought, Oh my goodness, I have been doing this wrong for 10 years. This lady here has figured out this system that I haven't been able to figure out. And, you know, I felt kind of silly, you know, Yeah, I guess it kind of makes sense to have this kind of process. And, I was lucky that I hadn't dealt with restraining orders prior to becoming a CDRE.

So I never even thought about having to have a special protocol for that, um, in, in how to make sure that parties are respecting those. Uh, and then everybody's, you know, stay safe and, you know, a lot of other things that, that, you know, as in traditional real estate, we just, we just don't necessarily deal with who's going to fill out disclosures, who's living in the property, but if they're both living in the property, how do we handle that?

How do you handle showings? And so there, there are so many different complexities in this space. So the biggest step is you've got to be number one, a real estate expert. You have to be an expert in your craft. You need to know your contracts back and forth. You need to know, you know, what's going on in your market at any given time to be able to talk to attorneys about shift changes.

You know, I've had lots of attorneys ask me about the, um, The commission lawsuit that's been going on, you need to, you need to be prepared because they want to know it's going to affect their cases. It might affect their clients, how things are done, how they're paying and just what's going on in, in real estate.

You need to be prepared for that. And number two, figure out how you can become an expert in family law. And I don't mean an attorney. You don't need to go to law school. You just need to understand that there's a lot of places where Family law and real estate law, they intersect and they do not always play well in the sandbox because what a judge orders on the family law side may not be kosher in real estate.

And they don't know because they're not real estate judges. They're family law judges, right? They're going based on, on their ruling. And so it's really just working with the family law community to ensure number one, that orders are followed. And number two, the biggest thing that we really haven't talked about is.

These people are going through the absolute worst time in their life. They may not always be the nicest to you. They may not always be easy to deal with. But the thing is, is they need an expert to walk them through and get them to the next phase because sometimes they are their own worst enemy. And you need to sort of, you know, we have to sort of put our ego in check and say, this isn't about me.

This is not about Bridget and my commission and how many houses I'm going to sell. This is about, you know, party A and party B who are devastated and they're fighting in the background over child custody, spousal support. Um, maybe there's other real estate involved. Maybe there's, you know, maybe they have to go in and they're fighting over quadros, which is retirement issues that come up in these cases that have to be settled.

There are so many moving pieces in a divorce that the house is just one piece. And so your job is to try and take the headache away from both the attorneys and the parties and make it as smooth of a transaction as possible so everybody can move on. Yeah, that makes a ton of sense in terms of People going through this life event, and now they have to figure out how they're going to unravel 20 or 30 years worth of things that they've built together.

And for them, it's much more about how do I get this thing that I've now built or owned or maintained for the past 10 years. However long to the next transition, like how do I take that asset and transition it to somebody else and make that as seamless and equitable as possible for all parties involved.

Austin: Exactly. Yeah. It's like, it's an interesting space for sure. Yeah, a hundred percent. So maybe stepping back a little bit. Outside of the lens of people that are interested in the divorce real estate space, you also had a ton of success in your traditional real estate practice. What are some of the tips you can share for agents who are just starting out in their career and want to become one of those top 1 percent producers in there?

Bridget: So I didn't really build my business on cold calling or anything like that. It was not something that I wanted to do or was particularly good at. I would argue I'm not even that. My focus hasn't really been open houses or anything like that either. I've gotten some business from open houses, but for me, it was really about building long-term relationships, whether it be, you know, friends and family, and then move on from there.

Right. People from my soccer team wanting to buy or sell houses or from a running club, or just when you're out and about, figure out a way to talk about real estate and always have a real estate story ready. If you're going to a happy hour with friends, you know, I had one story that people just love.

This was Gosh, probably 15 years ago. I was showing a property and I got attacked by a cat. This cat was hanging out on the kitchen island and it jumped on my back and it got stuck on my sweater. And I'm like doing this and the cat's flailing around on the back. People love that kind of stuff and it was the truth.

It was Luckily, both the cat and I were okay. Uh, my client did not buy that house, but people love an interesting story. And we're out and about with, with the public all the time, whether we're previewing properties or showing property or taking a listing, people want to hear what you're up to. And I think it's just a matter of sharing what you're doing and how you're doing it.

And I think that we, as an industry, don't do a great job of sharing the truth about how hard we really work. We really work hard. And yet, you know, our Instagrams show us in front of Lamborghinis and at cocktail hours and things like that, which is great if that's what you do. You know, that's, you're being honest.

But for me, you know, sometimes I'm cleaning up dead rats. Or, um, later this week, I have an appraisal. I'm worried about the pool. I'm probably going to go clean the pool, you know, before the appraisal, because it's my job to get my seller top dollar, uh, on this home. And so I think that there's a lot that we just don't share and it's important whether you're one week into this business or whether you're, you know, 20 years into this business, share, share your story and what you're doing and why you're doing it.

Austin: That's so important is sharing the things that you've learned. And that brings me to my final question for the podcast, which is. If you were to look back in your journey and you had five minutes with a Bridget who's just starting out in real estate and you were to give her one piece of advice that you think would help transform your career, what would that piece of advice be?

Bridget: I would say that the biggest piece of advice would be if you're just starting out today, use your first couple of commissions and invest in yourself. When I first got in, I was 23 and I went out on my own at 25. I had very little money. I wasn't making enough to live on. And I had three part time jobs, uh, while I was going to grad school to get my master's in business.

And people thought that I was crazy. Like you, you have your MBA now. Why would you, or your MSBA, why would you sell real estate? Right. But I believed in it. I believe that. As a realtor, if you are doing it for the right reasons, you are, you are protecting all the people in your area, their right to be homeowners and to be able to provide, uh, your sellers with education on how to best prepare them for their future, whether this is going to be their first home or their last home, you get to be a huge part of people's lives and their wealth building.

And while. We as an industry don't do a good job of sharing that. I hope that you realize that what you do matters, what you do is so important and it is your job to continuously get education in the real estate space to make sure that you're giving your clients, uh, good advice because whether or not you spend the time educating yourself on market trends.

Changes in laws, changes in real estate, changes in our market that happen quickly sometimes. That can affect your clients and their ability to buy another home or whether or not they get themselves into a financial hole because they didn't get great advice. So you have, you have a lot of important things that you are going to do.

Don't give up. Don't give up. This, this industry has a very high failure rate. And there's a reason. It's because it's easy to get in, and people don't realize how hard it is going to be. It is going to be hard, and you are going to want to quit. Many, many, many times. No matter how successful you are, you are going to think about quitting.

Sometimes the tough times just get really, really tough. And as long as you understand that going in and you just have to ride the highs and you have to ride the lows and you, you, you put your head down and you work and you just let all the noise just move away from you and, and just work hard. And if you want it bad enough and you're willing to do what it takes, you will be successful.

Austin: Thank you so much, Bridget. I couldn't have imagined a better way to end the podcast.

Bridget: Thank you, Austin. Take care.